Beautiful People

“The most beautiful people are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have still found their way out of the depths.  These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.  Beautiful people do not just happen.”      ——Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

We cannot control the things that happen to us, but we can grow through the pain when bad things happen.  There is a purpose, but you cannot see it yet.  He will bring good out of the most difficult situations.

The struggle up the mountain is difficult and challenging, but at the top is a view that is unimaginable.  Keep fighting the fight and win the race.

Overcoming struggles is what make us strong. We weren’t born brave. We develop it through trials, and sometimes those trials seem so unfair.  I always try to remember this is not the world that God intended for us.

Rest in knowing you are being transformed. Every defeat that brought you down, the suffering that made you feel weak, the struggles to get through each day, and every loss that broke your heart will be used for good.

Who can you reach out to today with compassion and help them on their journey and bring beauty from your pain by helping others with your own experiences?

I hope you will do that this week because everyone needs to hear the encouraging, “You got this.”

“You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.”
—-Bob Marley

Much Love & Many Prayers,

Cindy

Goodbye Hurricane Florence

I have been sitting at my desk just staring.  I am exhausted, but I’m still trying to keep going.  It has been a little over one week since I began preparing for Hurricane Florence to hit us. 

The storm nailed our area.  Went right over us. We are ok, thank God, but so many other lives have been completely devastated.

I cannot imagine the pain that people all around me are in today. I am really sad today even though we have been spared the worst.  I’m sad for what the people with pain are going through trying to survive if they lost their homes, their medicines, or other medical devices. 

I know that BCBSNC has a healthline for it’s members in North Carolina 1-877-477-2424.

There is also free for this area MDs live through Teladoc 1-855-756-8708  & MDLive 1-888-959-9516 .

Also, call Magellen for national crisis line for help in this area 1-800-327-7451

If anyone wants to volunteer, North Carolina Organizations Active in Disaster

Like everyone else, I pushed my body way past the breaking point, and then some, to do what we had to do.  I wanted to keep mom comfortable while power was out. Being 83 years old, I was more concerned about her with the heat than anything else.

IMG_0003

We cooked some really great food on the grill during the storm.  I’m sure I gained 15 pounds. Hot eggs with sausage and english muffins each morning is not bad.  This picture was during the calm after the storm.  We didn’t take the time to take pictures of the other meals but believe me, we ate good. So, thankful.

 

We are so blessed with only water damage from the roof leaking, so that makes me feel guilty for even thinking about feeling bad at this moment while looking out the window at the perfectly Carolina blue sky.

A couple of my friends bailed and can’t get back.  One friend is stuck with only 5 gallons of gas a neighbor graciously gave them because someone siphoned my friend’s gas out of their truck. Another good friend’s daughter lost everything of hers and her three children.

On a happier note, we have some really great neighbors across the street that stood in line for a long time to go in groups of ten at a time into the grocery store to get food for all of us.

At the same time they were there, we were also able to get out on one road to a small town with a small Walmart.  The shelves were empty, but they had water. While the store was extremely packed and busy, everyone was being polite and helpful even though we were all worried about getting back to our homes because of the continuing down pour and the fact that the flood waters were rising fast.

When the worst of the storm was over for us, we were able to help other friends out with gas, water, and food.  I have seen first hand how a disaster brings out the best in people, but I would like to catch the thief that stole gas from my friend!

A note about the support group and advocacy work: 

I sent a proposal to a new church about using their facilities for our meetings.  The storm will likely slow down the progress of it being approved.  I will just need to have patience.

Even before the hurricane, the physical pain put me in bed many times during the day leaving me unable to get things completed. 

It is very hard to get anything started, much less finished because I must stop in the middle of something because my body starts saying “no more!”  My mind won’t stop thinking about all the things I am trying to accomplish while I am laying there staring at the ceiling. 

I ordered a mobile desk that I thought would slide under the bed. I was hoping to continue working on the computer with the tilted desk slid under, but it did not work.  It wasn’t long enough to put the computer right in front of me. I thought I had found a solution to laying flat and working on the computer. I will figure it out, but it is frustrating to lay in bed with ideas of things that need to be accomplished.

Before the hurricane hit, I had an appointment with this area’s director for my Congressman to discuss the future of people with chronic pain.  Of course, Hurricane Florence changed that, too.  It will take time before this can be followed up on because his first priority right now is the victims of Hurricane Florence.

Someone recently told me it’s ALL baby steps. That’s what life is.  It is short-stride baby steps every step of the way. With this storm, the people in North Carolina and South Carolina will become strong again.  We will just do it with baby steps. #NorthCarolinaStrong

Much Love and Many Prayers,

Cindy

You Are Strong

Strong quote

Wow, I really have felt this quote the past few weeks.  Every day I wake up living with chronic pain, I have to find my strength to get back up and do it all over again.  Without a focus, living this way causes depression in me, so I have been putting all my attention on starting the support group and getting my office put back together. This has created less time for the blog.  I may be posting less, but I am still here.

I wanted to post this for those that just keep moving no matter what, keep putting one foot in front of the other, just keep going, regardless of their circumstances.  You are strong fighters working through hard, painful things every day. I know what you are going through every day.  You aren’t alone.  Just keep moving.

Move Lyrics by TobyMac

Another heartbreak day
Feels like you’re miles away
Don’t even need no shade
When your sun don’t shine, shine
Too many passin’ dreams
Roll by like limousines
It’s hard to keep believin’
When they pass you by and by
I know your heart been broke again
I know your prayers ain’t been answered yet
I know you’re feeling like you got nothing left
Well, lift your head, it ain’t over yet, ain’t over yet so
Move, keep walkin’ soldier keep movin’ on
Move, keep walkin’ until the mornin’ comes
Move, keep walkin’ soldier keep movin’ on
And lift your head, it ain’t over yet, ain’t over yet
Echoin’ inside your head
Are the words that your sweet momma said
“Shoot for the moon, my dear”
So you took aim out of this atmosphere
Between high stakes and pump fakes
You’re feelin’ like you can’t buy a break
I can hold your hand, but I can’t turn your eyes to freedom
I know your heart been broke again
I know your prayers ain’t been answered yet
I know you’re feeling like you got nothing left
Well, lift your head, it ain’t over yet, ain’t over yet so
Move, keep walkin’ soldier keep movin’ on
Move, keep walkin’ until the mornin’ comes
Move, keep walkin’ soldier keep movin’ on
And lift your head, it ain’t over yet, ain’t over yet
Hold on, hold on
Lord ain’t finished yet
Hold on, hold on
He’ll get you through this
Hold on, hold on
These are the promises
I never will forget
I never will forget, so
Hold on, hold on
The Lord ain’t finished yet
Hold on, hold on
He’ll get you through this
Hold on, hold on
These are the promises
I never will forget
I never will forget
I know your heart been broke again
I know your prayers ain’t been answered yet
But it ain’t over yet, it ain’t over yet
So get up and move, keep walkin’ soldier keep movin’ on
Move, keep walkin’ until the mornin’ comes
Move, keep walkin’ soldier keep movin’ on
And lift your head, it ain’t over yet, ain’t over yet
Lift up your head now, keep walkin’ soldier keep movin’ on
Lift up your head now keep walkin’ until the mornin’ comes
Keep believin’ keep walkin’ soldier keep movin’ on
And lift your head, it ain’t over yet, it ain’t over yet
Songwriters: Bryan Christopher Fowler / Christopher E Stevens / Toby Mc Keehan
Move (Keep Walkin’) lyrics © Capitol Christian Music Group
Much Love and Many Prayers,
Cindy

Bouncing Back

I am starting to become discouraged because of my limited abilities lately. I tell myself that I am not a burden, but sometimes I do not believe it. Even though it feels like it will never go away, I must remember that this level of pain is not going to be forever. But sometimes when you are in severe pain, that is all you can see and feel and taste, so it can be hard to change your perspective to a healthy one.

I will have a break in the severe pain eventually. I know this. I have begun to notice the rhythms of my pain. I’m learning to go with it instead of fighting every step. I may not be able to change that I am in pain, but suffering is optional.

After all the hoopla in the last post about the opioid symposium last week, I ended up not going to the event. I admit that I was disappointed that I would not be able to make a connection with my state representative, but my mom had a medical event. She is 83, and I am her caretaker. She is self-sufficient usually, but I did not want to leave her until I was sure that it was only a virus and nothing serious.

As soon as I have the time, I will request a visit with my state government officials to discuss how chronic pain affects every aspect of our lives and how their decisions will impact the chronic pain community.

I am not advocating for opioids around the clock for everyone. I want people to understand the reason there is such a backlash from chronic pain patients about wanting their opioids is because the government agencies are leaving us with no alternatives that actually work to replace the pain relieving medicines they want to take away. I believe every person I have spoken to about this issue has said that they would never take another opioid IF they had something else that actually worked to relieve their pain.

We need more research on pain because everyone experiences it differently. How we perceive pain is a complex interaction between mind and body. There is nothing that happens in the individual that affects only the mind or only the body. This interaction involves the nervous system and other factors, which include: genetic, culture, modeling, thoughts, stress, history of abuse, and trauma.

Right now pain research is lacking, but many people are deep in the trenches working tirelessly on changing the fact that we do not have affordable, effective alternative to the opioid medicines. You can also help by telling your story to your elected officials and make them understand our difficult situation, so more money is allocated for studies about pain.

My mom is feeling much better today, and I am getting back into my regular rhythm which helps me to feel the best I can. I have been in extra pain because of the rainy, hot weeks we have been having. Also, I cannot seem to bounce back from the trip to Chicago for the chronic pain support group training.  I am pushing the first organized meeting in September. I am praying that I will be able to get everything done in that timeframe.

What positive things do you do when you get discouraged by not bouncing back as fast as you would like from a flare? Do you get impatient and push through the pain or do you realize you need to up the self-care?

Much Love and Many Prayers,
Cindy

Help My Mission

Surf’s Up

I started writing an ethical will for my three sons a couple of years ago.

I’ve never finished it because I have so much I want to tell them. I just don’t know where to stop.

An ethical will is a way to tell your loved ones your values, blessings, life lessons, hopes, and dreams for the future. It’s simple really.

It can actually be about anything you feel is valuable information to pass down to the next generation, and you do not have to wait to die to pass it on to your family members.

You can give them a copy at any time for any reason, or no reason at all.

It is not a legal document of any kind.  It’s just thoughts and things you want to share.

Don’t we all have times when we wish we had one more moment in time to tell that special person something that we value deeply?

Here is just a tiny sampling of things I have written in my ethical will of words of wisdom I want to pass on to my children.

Life is hard no matter what path you go down.

The people beside you are hurting in some way just like you. 

That’s just reality.

EVERYTHING depends on how YOU react to it.

You can try to find positive instead of looking for the negative.

It’s harder work, but it pays off with dividends:    Joy.

I guarantee you’ll have joy if you learn to ride the wave instead of drowning in the wave. 

Much Love and Many Prayers,

Cindy

JULY Chronic Pain Support Group Update:
I am waiting on the final go ahead from the community agency that is allowing me to lead a chronic pain support group at their facility locally.
I will now be making the flyers and cards to give out at doctor’s offices locally and to put up around town.
The dream is slowly coming together.  I want to thank everyone that is supporting and encouraging me; specifically, my hubby.  This is probably one of the craziest ideas I’ve ever thrown at him but he has never lost a step right beside me.  Always & Forever.
Help My Mission of helping others live the best life they can with chronic pain.
________________________
Photo Credit (I could not bring myself to crop the photo – the colors were too awesome- so it is too large but beautiful) by Paul Larkin on Unsplash 

 

 

 

Cloud Nine

My head is still in the clouds from the plane ride. I feel completely peaceful tonight. I am exhausted and in major pain but it is worth every wince and groan.

Being validated, knowing someone else “gets it” is empowering. We know we can leave our guard down which makes us more relaxed. And that helps us deal with the pain in our bodies in a more loving way.

I believe support groups or seeing a mental health professional can really help chronic pain patients deal with the constant unrelenting pain and improve their quality of life. It’s all about taking back control, reducing isolation, and keeping your independence.

These past few years you have probably felt like a runaway train recklessly going through the motions to get through the day.  So many people with chronic pain do not have a person that can help support their physical and emotional needs.  A support group can do that.

When you attend a support group you will find others with different pain issues but with almost the exact emotional journeys.

Knowing that others are just like you in that way is validating. Tonight I feel very understood, and I am grateful.

I took a couple of pics with my phone coming in to the airport in Chicago. I am not a professional photographer. It’s just cell phone shots. 😎

This is me. Just happy to be alive and fully partipating in my life!

I hope this helps someone tonight. Maybe you might start a support group of your own. If you would like more information, please contact me directly at validatingchronicpain@gmail.com or through my contact page with the button above in the header.

Please forgive any errors. I am doing this on the fly on my telephone.

Much Love and Many Prayers,

Cindy

Sharing A Chronic Pain Perspective

Reading time 2 mins 20 secs

Tonight, my friend and I were discussing accounting strategies, and I was trying very hard to understand a specific way she processed something. I had to play “21 questions” to finally understand.

I could not see things from her perspective. It sounded like, to me, she did a lot of extra work, but she was certain her way was easier and maybe even quicker. We had the same end results but, we didn’t see the process the same. The differences in our lives created our unique perspectives. Obviously, no one has been through exactly everything you have been through; maybe similar, but not the same.

The questions I asked my friend led me to a mutual understanding eventually, but it was difficult. At first, I had a blank picture in my head of what she was talking about, but with each answered question I was provided a puzzle piece. Slowly, the picture emerged, and I began seeing through her eyes — her perspective.

 

perspective

The problem is that we always listen to respond and do not listen to understand. I wanted to hurry up and tell my friend my process, but when I started trying to see things her way and ask more questions to clarify, it became easier.  James 1:19 offers some valuable insight and wisdom to help us:

James 1:19 New International Version (NIV)
19 My dear brothers and sisters,(A) take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak(B) and slow to become angry,

 

How often do we find ourselves quick to listen and slow to speak? I know that’s not my first thought. I want to explain my point of view immediately. But when I listen with curiosity, the questions come easy, and the picture in my head quickly starts lining up with the picture in their head. Once I understand their perspective only then can I give them the information they are missing to see things from my perspective. This works both ways.

We must first try to understand others so that we can help add our puzzle pieces to their thoughts. If someone doesn’t see things the way you do, they may need more information that only you can give them from your life experiences.

Why is this important to people with chronic illnesses and chronic pain?

It creates empathy. Right now, the chronic pain community needs a tremendous amount of compassion because we now have our own epidemic along with the opioid addiction epidemic- an epidemic of untreated painful conditions that could lead to suicides because the pain is unbearable without proper medications.  That’s why I am always saying, share your stories! No one can understand if we don’t get our voices out there.  Write emails to your elected officials, track what different government agencies are making decisions on and make your opinion known.  The U.S. Pain Foundation has an advocacy page that is a great place to start learning how to get your voice heard.

I love this quote that has been attributed to Roy T. Bennett: “Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.”

Begin by trying to understand others, then ask yourself, “How would I feel?” If every person did that, imagine what it could do to the world we live in!

Much Love and Many Prayers,

Cindy

Facebook  @ChronicPainWithAHigherPerspective

 

New International Version (NIV)
Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Disclaimer: The statements and opinions that I provide are my own and should not to be taken as the stance, position or viewpoint of the U.S. Pain Foundation.

Grab Your Climbing Gear

Something I did not think about when I began this blog is how sending my words out in the universe will affect those around me and even people I do not know.  I mean, I was hopeful, but I am amazed by the responses from all over the world that I have received. There is a healthy side of being vulnerable and telling your story: other people see they are not alone. It has been worth being out of my comfort zone. I thank you for this opportunity to get to know you.

Everyone deals with stress differently. I like to write out my feelings so someone might be a witness to my life and help me find the right perspective. While others choose silence, I find that impossible, but I will honor their choice.

I was allowed a voice with The Mighty last week about my article about living with chronic pain limitations. Just a small piece, nothing fancy but a few people did find something in it to help them. I am very thankful for that opportunity.

Helping other people makes you feel connected, and you may find something about your situation to help you feel grateful.

I have had some beautiful people share their very personal journeys with their chronic illnesses. Yes, it takes time to write out your feelings, but the payback is tremendous. You help another person by showing them your struggles and your triumphs. As you write, you might begin to see a different picture of yourself: a fighter and a survivor!

If you haven’t shared your journey, please email me on the contact page. I do not publish any information you send unless granted permission to do so.

Don’t look up to the top of your mountain and say you cannot make it.
Look up and around, and you will see others on similar journeys. It is hard to do alone; sometimes, it is impossible, so it is a must to reach out to those around you and find out ways you can help and how they can help you.

Your offer could be as simple as offering a listening ear. Most people just want to be heard and believed.man on mountain.jpg

You might find your struggle to the top of your daily mountain just might become a little lighter with a few burdens lifted from kindness endorphins and a little friendship sharing the yoke.

It can be an exhausting routine to go through every day until I hit my “sweet spot” which is usually around 1 pm until 4:30 pm. The rest of the time I am distracted with brain fog and pain. But I have to keep doing this to survive just like you.

Everyone has their particular mountain to climb in this life. Most are not a fun waterslide that’s worth the climb. I want people to see the odds we rise above every day with our chronic illnesses and show the unbelievers just how strong we can be. That’s why I encourage everyone to share their stories.

And I want people that are struggling to remember to look up and around so they can recognize that each mountain they are scaling has other climbers all around them. Each with varying degrees of knowledge. Through our chronic pain networking, we can find some vital information along the way and change our perception and quality of life.

I didn’t start this blog for a business or fame.  I just wanted to be real about chronic illnesses, and bring awareness to chronic pain and how I live and survive them and maybe I can help one person improve their quality of life.

Try spending one day this week by being encouraging to everyone that your path takes you to.

Much Love and Many Prayers

(Speaking of Prayers – New Prayer Request or Praise Report Page)

Cindy

Photo Credit: Unsplash