Longing for Answers

This morning I woke up with a thousand things to do that were urgent. My brain jumped to screaming everything I needed to do, but my soul said, stop…breathe….go to the light for peace, then proceed.

When I got out of bed, I decided to spend time praising God for rewriting my story with the love of Jesus. I spent about 30 mins listening to Laren Daigle lastest album and only praising God. This is no quick fix, but the peace it brings is amazing.

Today was a productive day because I put my trust in God. I believe that is the reason why it went well and I accomplished so much even with a horrible cold and physical pain.

Now last year, my buzz word was “believe.” I saw that word pop up everywhere, and I had a very specific prayer answered surrounding the word believe. The verse, help me with my unbelief, changed my life, but it took 10 years for my prayer of “help me with my unbelief” to be answered.

Sometimes God doesn’t give an immediate answer. I had to wait for my answers. The wait was hard and sometimes, I felt like giving up. But the realization of seeing my prayer answered, even 10 years later, is a very powerful feeling of complete trust in God.

So, that’s why my buzz word for 2019 has been TRUST. I am seeing it everywhere in scripture and even in conversations with people that are giving me good advice…just wait, and trust that God has this. He knows what is going on and in his time, he will answer. I believe that to be true.

I’ve seen the power of prayer so many times that I cannot remember them all. I wish I had kept a journal of God’s blessings and provisions, but my memory will have to serve as my testimony. Sometimes my memory isn’t so great so it will take habits of spending time in the Bible and in prayer to constantly remind me.

Spending time in the Bible has always been hard for me because I am so ADHD. I have a hard time reading and even studying, so it takes extra effort. I have read the Bible through multiple times, but I always skipped Revelation.😃

Lots of people try to read the Bible through in a year, I think that’s a bit much. I always did it in two years and it went well without the extra pressure, but it’s ok if it takes you three or four years. Make the commitment to read 10 mins a day and you will get through reading the Bible in YOUR time and that’s ok.

Prayer can be in any form: music, writing, and the spoken word. I’m sure you can come up with more ways to pray. Everyone is different.

I believe it is just like talking to a beloved friend or confidant. Just talk. There is no special formula to get the job done. Just speak to Him and He will hear you, but His answer may be, wait, like it was for me. My answer developed over 10 years, but the answers came. In the meantime, I cultivated a relationship with Him. That makes it worth the wait and the pain journey easier.

So, if you are waiting on an answer that you desperately need, maybe about your chronic pain, just wait and while you wait, cultivate a relationship with God with prayer with praise and reading God’s word. Doing these things will not fail you. Trust in Him to bring your dreams to fruition. He’s that powerful.

I hope everyone is safe and that you feel the best you can in whatever situation you are in.

Much Love & Many Prayers,

Cindy

My Temple

Today, I was going through last years datebook and found a prayer that I had shared in a blog last year.  I would like to share it again today.  It’s a great reminder that in all of the mess we can feel gratitude within the stuggles of fighting with a broken earthly body.

Creator God:

Thank you for this body. Thank you for the gift of movement, the gift of touch, the gift of laughter.  When I am at odds with my body, please help me focus my thoughts to what my body can do and the ways it can serve you. Thank you for the nerves and synapses. arterteries, and brain cells, that make me who I am, your creation.  Amen

Enjoy your weekend!

Much Love & Many Prayers,

Cindy

Finding Joy

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I can’t believe it has been over a month since I posted my first blog piece about chronic pain and hope.  Suddenly, it is the Fall/Winter season, and I’m wondering where the summer disappeared to because I can feel the cold in my bones already. It’s just too soon!  I don’t care for cold weather because I grew up loving the beach.  Having chronic pain has made me dislike the winter season even less. The cold seems to magnify my discomfort, and I let the dreariness of too many sunless days in a row deflate my joy.

haze-1408233

When I end up flat in bed because the pain is debilitating, I usually become bored with television, reading, and playing on my phone very quickly. I was able to crochet while laying flat for awhile but eventually, that became boring too.  Over time, you just run out of things to do to keep the mind busy.  I don’t know if you are the same, but that’s when the negative thoughts start running amuck in my head.  You can’t do ANYTHING anymore!  You have to always cancel, and you disappoint friends and family! There is no more joy for you! You’re a burden on your family! Why can’t I have my life back?  How long do I have to endure this God?

I have to say, I did a lot of talking at God, but I had forgotten to listen… until recently.

A few months ago, I was talking with someone about how my life had gone in such a downward spiral because I couldn’t do the things I wanted to anymore. I was in a very negative frame of mind at this time. My friend wouldn’t accept my “pity party” and challenged me to find positive things to focus on; to reframe my perception. I knew that the most important thing should be God and I will admit, at the time, God wasn’t my complete focus.  I was so zeroed in on the negative things that my pain had become a prison of self-absorption.

I picked my Bible back up, and after meeting God regularly, my negative thoughts slowly began to fall away, and even in the midst of pain, I also found some precious joy.  No, I wasn’t out of pain physically, but I think some of my raw emotions were being healed through scripture and prayer. The Psalms in the Bible are a great place to start studying because it describes David crying out to God many times and how God answered David.  You can also pray these prayers and promises from the Psalms and find joy and hope.

In the Bible, when David was hiding in a cave from Saul, he literally cried out to the Lord, and that is what we need to do when we feel we have nothing else on the impossible days.

Psalm 142

A maskil of David. When he was in the cave. A prayer.

I cry aloud to the Lord;
    I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy.
I pour out before him my complaint;
    before him I tell my trouble.

When my spirit grows faint within me,
    it is you who watch over my way.
In the path where I walk
    people have hidden a snare for me.
Look and see, there is no one at my right hand;
    no one is concerned for me.
I have no refuge;
    no one cares for my life.

I cry to you, Lord;
    I say, “You are my refuge,
    my portion in the land of the living.”

Listen to my cry,
    for I am in desperate need;
rescue me from those who pursue me,
    for they are too strong for me.
Set me free from my prison,
    that I may praise your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me
    because of your goodness to me.

God’s Word is a balm to my pain.    Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.
Psalm 119:105 NIV

I just need to remember where to look. I’m trying to make the conscious decision that I shouldn’t let things or other people or even the weather dictate how I feel emotionally.  But when you feel awful because of physical pain due to the weather like this recent season change, that can be a tough thing to do.

Now that I’ve been reading God’s Word, praying, and trusting God for my joy, I found that it makes all the difference in the world! See, when I got my focus back, I discovered that I can claim God’s promises for joy.

When I figured out that I had to purpose joy in my soul, some things became mentally easier to handle.  My pain isn’t going anywhere anytime soon, I’m pretty sure of that, but when my attitude is full of joy because of God’s promises, I can endure the pain easier.

To help, I decided to make a little Focus Book.  My Focus Book holds scriptures, quotes, and prayers.  You can call your book anything you want and put anything you feel is important to remember when you are down physically or mentally. You can make a quick one or two sentence cards of things you want to remember when you are feeling down and call it your Gratitude Book.  I found a cheap and small one at Walmart. (I am not getting any compensation for any of my links.)

myndology focus book

It’s about 2 inches by 3 inches.  You can also use index cards.  They come in all sizes.  Just punch a hole in the cards and keep them together with a ribbon but not in a knot so you can keep adding new cards when you find inspiration.  Mine is small enough that I can easily carry it around with me.

When I feel like I just can’t keep going, I pick up my little focus book and start reading until I feel my mood lifting.  Some days it works fast.  Some days it doesn’t; it comes slowly, and some days, it just doesn’t work at all, and I know that God’s Grace covers me on those days.

My challenge to you is to find joy through reading scripture and prayer and pull yourself up to the light and away from the darkness.

Need some help finding God’s promises in the Bible? Try www.365promises.com. They have a promise for each day of the year.

***************MUSIC AS THERAPY********************

Jonny Diaz – Joy

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Resources:  BibleGateway.com  365promises.com

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