Inside My Head Tag

iScriblr_the-inside-my-head-tag

My dear friend SimpliWendi over at Simply Chronically Ill, I am finally completing your reward tag!  Thank you for the nomination. SimpliWendi lives with multiple chronic illness and faces them bravely.  She encourages others with chronic illnesses to live simply for a better life. Please go check out her blog where you will find honesty, vulnerability, and encouragement.

Rules:

° Thank & tag the person that has tagged you

° Attach the tag photo

° Answer the ‘This or That’ questions

° Tag 10-20 friends

 

Here we go:  a little about me……………..

° How do you feel at the moment?

Very excited.  I have a few hours that I can write without interruption.

 

° What do you need more in my life?

I need more self-confidence.

 

° What would make you happy right now?

To see my three grown sons.  They live over 600 miles away from me.  I miss them so much. They come every Christmas, but the time in between passes so slowly.

 

° What is going on in your life right now?

Very beginning of creating a chronic pain support group locally and online and doing chronic pain advocacy.

 

° What am I most grateful for? List 10 things.

  1. God.
  2. My hubby and sons
  3. The gift of writing and expression.
  4. My life situations because looking back, I am one strong woman because of them.
  5. Laughter.
  6. Medicine that helps my physical pain.
  7. The opportunities that this blog has given me.
  8. People that believe in me.
  9. My fan beside my lazy boy because hot flashes are killer.
  10. Pepsi and coffee

 

° When did you experience joy this week? 

Today, sharing laughter with my hubby.

 

° List a small victory/success?

When I started spiraling down into depression, I pulled myself back up in the same day.  I think the tools I’ve learned are beginning to work for me.  All I know is that it is challenging work to be consistent.

 

° What is bothering me & Why?

Family issues because I always believed that “blood was thicker than water,” but through my struggles, I have found that is not true. It’s a death of the dream of what family meant.

 

° What are my priorities at the moment?

I am learning to take self-care for my chronic pain seriously.  When I am consistent with that, I feel so much better.  It helps me to be able to participate more fully in my life and live in the moment.

 

° What do I love about myself?

I can make people laugh.  I love my excitement. I love my new attitude.

 

° Who means the world to me & why?

There are 4 people that mean the world to me and if they read this, they will know I am talking about them.  One reason: unconditional love.

 

° If I could share one message with the world, what would it be?

(SimpliWendi: I stole your answers!!  They were perfect!)

Be nice………..you have NO IDEA what other people are going through.

Be generous……….there are SO many needs in this world.

 

° What advice would I give my younger self? 

Be smarter with my love and respect myself.

 

° What lesson did I learn this week? 

I have to relearn this every week.  I have to learn to be emotionally flexible.

 

° If I had all the time in the world, what would I do first?

I would have to have qualifiers to answer this question.  I would need to know if I would have my chronic pain or not.
With chronic pain, I would be helping people in some way like I am trying to do with the blog and through writing. I don’t want what I go through every day to be in vain, and I don’t want anyone to stay stuck thinking that their life is over because of chronic pain or chronic illness.
Without chronic pain, I would go back to college and get my psychology degree while working to pay for it. (I miss working and interacting with people in person.) Then, I would do the same thing but with even more knowledge to help others.

 

° What’s draining my energy?

Chronic pain constantly drains every ounce of energy.  It really sucks some days when there is very little energy to do basic tasks.

 

° What does my ideal morning look like?

To wake up without an alarm clock.  The noise is a shock to the body and brain.

 

What makes me come alive?

Spring time in the South makes me come alive.  The suns starts warming the earth and everything comes alive.

 

° What/Who inspires me the most?

All of the people with pain in this world that get up one more day and do it all over again.

 

° Where does my pain originate?

This would have to be a series.

 

° What are my strengths?

I am an intuitive thinking and encourager.

 

° What is something I’ve always wanted but too scared to get?

One of the new Ford Mustangs.  I would probably kill myself in it.

 

° What is something I would love to learn?

Calligraphy.

 

° Where would I want to live my ideal life?

Somewhere with many, many more sunny days than rainy days.

 

Where would you like to travel in the next 5 years?

I would love to have a motor home and travel everywhere it can go.

 

° What can I do to take better care of myself?

Say no without guilt or shame.

 

° What hobbies would I like to try?

Pinterest DIYs

 

° When have I done something that I thought I couldn’t do?

I didn’t think I would ever travel again but in the past year I have been to Denver and Chicago.

 

° At the end of my life, what do I want my legacy to be?

She was a Mary in a Martha world. Luke 10:38-42

 

My nominees not in any particular order: 

Discovering Your Happiness

My Loud Bipolar Whispers

LETITGOCOACH

Pointless Overthinking

FightMSDaily

Can’t wait to hear everyone’s answers but if it is not your thing, that’s ok too.

Much Love and Many Prayers

Cindy

 

New International Version (NIV)Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

 

Finding Joy

Read in 4 mins 27 secs

I can’t believe it has been over a month since I posted my first blog piece about chronic pain and hope.  Suddenly, it is the Fall/Winter season, and I’m wondering where the summer disappeared to because I can feel the cold in my bones already. It’s just too soon!  I don’t care for cold weather because I grew up loving the beach.  Having chronic pain has made me dislike the winter season even less. The cold seems to magnify my discomfort, and I let the dreariness of too many sunless days in a row deflate my joy.

haze-1408233

When I end up flat in bed because the pain is debilitating, I usually become bored with television, reading, and playing on my phone very quickly. I was able to crochet while laying flat for awhile but eventually, that became boring too.  Over time, you just run out of things to do to keep the mind busy.  I don’t know if you are the same, but that’s when the negative thoughts start running amuck in my head.  You can’t do ANYTHING anymore!  You have to always cancel, and you disappoint friends and family! There is no more joy for you! You’re a burden on your family! Why can’t I have my life back?  How long do I have to endure this God?

I have to say, I did a lot of talking at God, but I had forgotten to listen… until recently.

A few months ago, I was talking with someone about how my life had gone in such a downward spiral because I couldn’t do the things I wanted to anymore. I was in a very negative frame of mind at this time. My friend wouldn’t accept my “pity party” and challenged me to find positive things to focus on; to reframe my perception. I knew that the most important thing should be God and I will admit, at the time, God wasn’t my complete focus.  I was so zeroed in on the negative things that my pain had become a prison of self-absorption.

I picked my Bible back up, and after meeting God regularly, my negative thoughts slowly began to fall away, and even in the midst of pain, I also found some precious joy.  No, I wasn’t out of pain physically, but I think some of my raw emotions were being healed through scripture and prayer. The Psalms in the Bible are a great place to start studying because it describes David crying out to God many times and how God answered David.  You can also pray these prayers and promises from the Psalms and find joy and hope.

In the Bible, when David was hiding in a cave from Saul, he literally cried out to the Lord, and that is what we need to do when we feel we have nothing else on the impossible days.

Psalm 142

A maskil of David. When he was in the cave. A prayer.

I cry aloud to the Lord;
    I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy.
I pour out before him my complaint;
    before him I tell my trouble.

When my spirit grows faint within me,
    it is you who watch over my way.
In the path where I walk
    people have hidden a snare for me.
Look and see, there is no one at my right hand;
    no one is concerned for me.
I have no refuge;
    no one cares for my life.

I cry to you, Lord;
    I say, “You are my refuge,
    my portion in the land of the living.”

Listen to my cry,
    for I am in desperate need;
rescue me from those who pursue me,
    for they are too strong for me.
Set me free from my prison,
    that I may praise your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me
    because of your goodness to me.

God’s Word is a balm to my pain.    Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.
Psalm 119:105 NIV

I just need to remember where to look. I’m trying to make the conscious decision that I shouldn’t let things or other people or even the weather dictate how I feel emotionally.  But when you feel awful because of physical pain due to the weather like this recent season change, that can be a tough thing to do.

Now that I’ve been reading God’s Word, praying, and trusting God for my joy, I found that it makes all the difference in the world! See, when I got my focus back, I discovered that I can claim God’s promises for joy.

When I figured out that I had to purpose joy in my soul, some things became mentally easier to handle.  My pain isn’t going anywhere anytime soon, I’m pretty sure of that, but when my attitude is full of joy because of God’s promises, I can endure the pain easier.

To help, I decided to make a little Focus Book.  My Focus Book holds scriptures, quotes, and prayers.  You can call your book anything you want and put anything you feel is important to remember when you are down physically or mentally. You can make a quick one or two sentence cards of things you want to remember when you are feeling down and call it your Gratitude Book.  I found a cheap and small one at Walmart. (I am not getting any compensation for any of my links.)

myndology focus book

It’s about 2 inches by 3 inches.  You can also use index cards.  They come in all sizes.  Just punch a hole in the cards and keep them together with a ribbon but not in a knot so you can keep adding new cards when you find inspiration.  Mine is small enough that I can easily carry it around with me.

When I feel like I just can’t keep going, I pick up my little focus book and start reading until I feel my mood lifting.  Some days it works fast.  Some days it doesn’t; it comes slowly, and some days, it just doesn’t work at all, and I know that God’s Grace covers me on those days.

My challenge to you is to find joy through reading scripture and prayer and pull yourself up to the light and away from the darkness.

Need some help finding God’s promises in the Bible? Try www.365promises.com. They have a promise for each day of the year.

***************MUSIC AS THERAPY********************

Jonny Diaz – Joy

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Resources:  BibleGateway.com  365promises.com

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